There are those that manipulate the truth and the people around them to the degree that there is nothing left that is purposeful or good between them. Then there are the victims of such people who are rendered emotionally and often physically altered. Trust which is the root of security is stunted or completely destroyed. So often these abusers are among the closest to us creating damage which is far more complex. It is true to say that all people at some point suffered an abuse of trust that became a justification of their own offenses. It is true also that with every lie, betrayal, menacing or abusive act there is always a choice to refrain and exercise restraint. For the victim there are also some choices, to forgive the person and condemn the behavior, to retaliate with hatred for both the act and the abuser, to separate from the pain in some unhealthy manner. Is there another choice?
Can the victim convict their abuser in way that justice is satisfied and healing is assured? Is letting go completely the only answer? Most abusers will never see the inside of a prison cell so how could a victim convict them? The notion that if the abuser is made to listen to painful experience and consequence suffered by the victim that this would evoke remorse. Is remorse of the abuser able to provide healing to the victim? Perhaps there is no answer but only evolution towards a rebirth. A rebirth of the soul, a complete change of course, one that rises above the ashes of brokenness. Also an acceptance that convicting the soul of a perpetrator of malice belongs to a higher authority. It’s my personal belief that all people have a knowledge of right and wrong and because of this knowledge all also believe that it comes from an unknown higher knowledge.
Inwardly focused expression is a positive healing experience when a person is damaged by broken trust or cruelty. Taking care of our own emotional needs is a big step for many of us and expression is a good way of getting to the next level. Yet all anger that we outwardly focus steals are energy and can perpetuate the cycle of pain. In the end the matter of convicting the conscience of a perpetrator of malice belongs to a higher authority. As I take in the stories shared with me by friends and acquaintances I understand more deeply that pain cycles are for us to personally grow. Growing together can only take place when we are secure in ourselves. No matter how challenging or debilitating our emotional, physical or intellectual experiences may be, there is always a choice, a choice to stop the cycle of pain.
Compassionate empathy is not a natural state for many human beings that is why is so important that we Teach Love. Too quickly life’s circumstance can change and we can miss our opportunities for an easier flow of communication with those that are closest to us, it can slip away right before our eyes. I suppose ultimately it is never too late to build a bridge back, if it is meant to be and if the bond is strong enough, it can happen. I do believe that all things are possible within the energy of Love. What is most important in my mind, is to create a truthfulness within ourselves, we must know what we have done or failed to do. We can only see ourselves clearly in any situation by removing ourselves from the emotionalism and looking at the total circumstance.
When we reach this place of understanding, again there is a choice, to see the circumstance through the eyes of compassion for ourselves and others, or not. Communication is not making accusations, name calling and profanity. That is dysfunction. Communication requires a willingness to reserve judgment when it comes to emotional pain, it’s the only way that we can truly communicating one another. is When all is said and done, all things in life seem to be choice of accepting a lesson or rejecting one. At the end of the day I think that acceptance raises our own self-worth and the worthiness of life itself.
March 4, 2019